L.I.F.E

How I wish my Life is Interesting ,Fun and Enjoy-able..
but now my  Life Is Full of Enigma
A day without worrying is not a day..
no matter how happy we are the day before, we still have to start worrying for something once we are awake to start a new day
now I worry about my studies…
but few years later, i m going to worry about my career..
den how about many years later ?
family ?? money ??
we are worry because we care for our self ?

erm...but most of the time, I worry because i sked
bad things might  will happen..
and i can smell that something is going to happen…
the scent is getting nearer and nearer and…
its going to be a very very deep impact towards my daily life..
hopefully not…
just sooner or later..although it is not caused by me..
but because of the to powerful impact…
the surrounding will be also affected..
its just like a tsunami..waiting for the earthquake to happen…
i still dun understand why…
plz dont be ‘once bitten twice shy’…

unforgettable memory

even though many years has passed..
but those ‘time’ will still be the best moment..
fun..enjoy..laughter..
is the only words i remember..
and not forgetting..stressful life..
but it will still be a great one..
my life has changed since then..
not as coward as i did last time..
and i did learn something new..
and since then, i’ve become stronger..
and much more stronger than before..
endure everything with patience..
but sometimes when i look back..
i told myself,”wow..it was a disaster”
so, should i say thank you instead of blaming it on you?

D’ 7th Semester

time passes so fast..
I left my beloved college for 7 semester d
and I already in the 7th semester of my study in cyberjaya
almost 2 years d…
there is sumthing still un-change..and there is also sumthing that had changed a lot…
if bad things change to good things den it’s a good news..
but it goes the opposite way..den..really no eyes see..
but…anyway..I still have to adapt to the situation…
what goes around comes around

August..the Month of Assignment

Seriously..I got 6 assignments for this semester..
and most of them the deadline is on 1st of Sept..
but so far..I just manage to complete 1 out of 6..
and there’s still 5 more waiting for me..
and out of 5..1 of them..the deadline for submission is tomolo..
but yet..I still couldn’t figure out on how to implement it..
after few hours of staring at the question..
I still didn’t manage to start my work..
I think my progress on completing TVB drama is much better than my assignment..
I’ve completed 15 out of 20 episodes in 2 days..
but my progress on my assignment is 0%..
watching drama is the only solution when u couldn’t start any assignment..
it release stress while mean time also give us some motivation..
haihz..assignment…assignment..assignment…
tak habis habis…
I don’t care..after this..I gonna makan besar and enjoy sepuas-puasnya..before exam i…
sienzzzzz

i’m tired

and i really meant it..
its really really tired..
not like those days anymore..
i have to admit that i already old..
memory loss..tiredness..and sleepiness
happens every day..
times flies..
and i m..
getting..
older..

extra time

i desperately nid additional time..
24 hours a day is not enuf..
really really not enuf…
i was so busy like a businessman…
i m so overstress…
diz semester gonna be a nightmare for me..
dun really have an ample time to do my revision on all my midterms..
i can sense dat…it gonna be a tough time heading towards me..
apart from that….
my financial was like so unstable…
totally unstable…
i dunno y…i dunno where did i spent those money…
i already stop buying electronics accessories for myself since last semester…but..i m still broke ???
and now…
i m addicted to Star Craft 2……
oh..no…assignments deadline is jz around the corner buy yet…
i still enjoying playing it…and keep procrastinate all my assignments…
i have to get rid of this habit…

Past 'n' Now

Last time...not dat long ago...
holidays mean alots for me..
not dat the holidays now doesn't mean anything for me...
it oso means alot to me...but the "feel" is not there..
i dunno how to describe the "feel"..but i knw its nt there..
i doesn't hav da same "feel" as i felt back in secondary school and previous years...
izit becoz we grow older ? or what ?
i remember...
last time i used to enjoy my holidays...every single minutes..and seconds..
i nvr had a single rest during my holidays...
i nvr ever wasted any of the precious time by sleeping or doing ntg..
and i had a lot of fun..
izit becoz our friend's circle is getting smaller and smaller as they further their studies in other states ?
or izit we already bored ? or we had enuf of fun ?
the answer is NO...but mayb YES
for me is NO...NO..No..
i nid holiday...and holiday needs me...
without holiday...i can gone mad...with unstable emotion...
but Y ?
i dont hav the feel.........
its like so dull and lifeless...
and living a life with no direction..
its totally different from last time..
where every morning wake up with a smile and start up the day with a bigger smile and ended up the day with an even bigger smile on my face..
but now......as if ntg happen..
jz like those normal days..
dun hav the holiday feel..
the only things which are different is that...
i dun hav to wake up early in the morning and go for my classes..
and i m nw staying at my own home and being take care by parents..
other than that..everything is the same..
and one more thing..
last time..before i sleep...
i always thought of wat things may come on the following days..and i will get very excited till i will keep smiling when i was asleep..ahaha...
the "feel" is still unexplainable...
u wont enjoy the holiday if without the present of the "feel"..
wat to do ? what to do ?
i believe dat if i say dat holiday is not enjoying..
everyone are goin to throw stones at me..
ahaha..=)
Past 'n' Now is totally different
the way of spelling it oso is a big different..
nonid to say on how it feel..
i nid a holiday life

Insomnia strikes again..again..n..again

cant really sleep at nite..
i dunno y..
got ntg to be worried about..but still..
cant sleep..by the time i can really get a good rest oso around 4am..
alots of pplz wanted to sleep but cant do so..bcoz hav to "pia" for final exams..
but its the other way round for me..dunno y..
because of those sleepless nites..i discovered some nice songs..
its chinese song..although i dunno the meaning..but i still feel dat it is nice..ahaha
Jade Liu Li Yang - Li Wu (gift)


i listen to it everynight till i can really fall asleep..
da moment i listen to it..i can feel dat the song it self is quite meaningful..although i dunno the real meaning..mayb from its rhythmes..
ahaha..hopefully i can sleep well tonite..no more insomnia..
damn..i really hate insomnia!! every morning oso wake up like zombie..
being blur blur and half dead..
pls pls pls...haihz..

life...

all of us are goin to leave diz wonderful world one day
it is jz the matter of time..sooner or later only..
if there is anything happen to us..den dats our fate..
no matter wat..we still hav to accept it..
there is no situation like "take it or leave it" anymore..
we hav to take it on wat may come to u..
on Sunday afternoon..while i was facebook-ing..
i felt that my lcd and me myself is moving..erm..shaking...
within a few seconds, i shouted to my parents, "Eh..teh tang..teh tang(earthquake - in hokkien)"
by the time i run out from my room..my dad oso run to living room d..
it was shaking tremendously...for quite long..
i m sure that it is more than 1 minute..
my parents keep saying "dunit run down..jz stay calm and wait for it to go away"
btw, this is not the 1st time..few times d..
erm..during that moment..my mind was thinking..."izit today is really my day ? wat if the building cant take the tremor and collapse ? if nt..faster stop..."
the moment it stop..i feel like as if the burden on me jz go away...
this time..the movement and the shaky-ness is quite strong but slightly lighter than the one in 2004..where it caused tsunami..and that time , i was alone at home..
it caused my fishes inside the aquarium to jump out and some being thrown out..
its already 5 years...but i will never forget those moments..
the moment of live and death..
we jz hav to accept it..we cant deny it..
i knw..there is still alots things still need to be fulfilled..
but wat if...? you'll never know...until the day has come..

Did i ?

Did i choose the correct path ?
Is Engineering really my choice ?
Will i be happy in the future ?
Can i really be a good engineer after i graduate ?
or did i just torturing my self to enrol into diz course?
First of all…
I’m good at nothing…
I dislike programming
Not that good in maths
Hate to write report
Very poor in memorizing formulas
Not hardworking
Too playful
LoL…this is wat i can think of..
As u can see, i didn’t fulfil the requirement..
ahaha…den y engineering ?
izit bcoz….
the title “engineer” sounds nice?
or..
just follow ppl’s footstep ?
or..
being forced to study ?
or…
………………………………
I still cant find the “why”….
not that i want to give up..
i just need to find my “why”..
there’s sure a purpose for doing something..
if without it..we r going nowhere…and lost…
as if we’re lost inside the jungle..
we have to find the direction in order to get out from the jungle..
the “why” is like the direction..compass…
how can a sailor or pilot travel without direction ?
they gonna lost and going to nowhere..
this same goes to me..
and i m still wondering…
maybe sooner or later..i will get the answer..

Down..Down..Down…Down..Down..

My dream of getting new phone..a better one..was totally a DISASTER
Instead of getting to buy a new phone..i was scolded by my mum..
It totally ruin my day..my mood..and my life..
till I’m now not in the mood of getting a new phone d..
will be temporarily using my housemate’s phone
Izzit that hard to buy me a new phone ?
Not dat i change my phone frequently..and after all..i’ve been using those old and ‘not’ good looking-classic phone for more than 3 years
but anyway..i didn’t complaint much..
No matter wat oso..she is still my mum..
haihz..but diz really makes me down..
there is still tons of work waiting for me..
but really..really disappointed…
I’m so down + depressed + stress..
suddenly feel like dunno wat to do..
dont feel like wanna talk..online..chatting..laughing..smiling..
I just feel like wanna sleep..
Haaaiiihhhhhzzzzzz………
when i first take a glance at the phone..
i already fall in love with it..
but suddenly being REJECTED by mum..
it is as if u are getting married..but suddenly..the parents reject it..
Ahahaha...
my dream will never come true unless i buy it with my own money..
so..hav to start saving d..i know its too late for me start doing it..but at least there is still some hope..
The hope is there..now just depends on me..
No matter what, i will still go for it..
=) 

D’ end of my HandPhone Life

My 3 and half years hp is now Rest in Peace..
It had been providing a good service to me for the last 3 years..
I jz realize dat i can’t live without my handphone..
even few minutes or jz a moment…
Just now was on the way to campus..den..
suddenly i receive a sms..
den after typing the msg and wanan reply..
i tot my hp hang…da send button was unresponsive..
no matter how hard i press oso the same..
den..suddenly it switched off automatically..
LOL…
when i on it back…omg…
i nid to enter my PIN number…and press OK..
but…da problem is…
my OK button is not functioning..
ahahahahahaha….
thats the end of my HP…
R.I.P
as a student..without a HP is like without mouth and ears..
i cant even contact my friends..
and my friends cant even contact me..
there is a lost of communication medium..
wanna ask hsemates for lunch oso cant..
even with the existing of public phone oso seems useless for me..
coz…i can’t remember any of my hsemates number..ahahaha…
lol..its time for me to get a new and better phone..
there is pros and cons..

the pros : getting to change new phone, my dream of changing new phone comes true, i no longer need to use that old phone.

the cons : being scold by mum for spending money again to buy new phone, i lost my phone contacts, getting to change new phone..but mayb my mum will ask me to buy a cheap and not good looking phone..ahaha..(that’s the worst case)

So, i just hope for the best..ahaha…

what am i really doin ?

me myself oso not sure what i m doin rite now..
was lack of sleep and plus super duper busy..
very very blur for whole day
very sleepy but yet cannot sleep
and rite now..my house is so happening..
alots of ppls..ahaha..
so so meriah..ahaha..
but only happen once in a while..
one more month to go..
WooHooooo....
can't wait to go back PeNanG..
and enjoy my eat-sleep-eat-sleep schedule..
ahaha..
live like emperor..eat like emperor..
eat wat u want and eat whenever u want
wow..cant imagine that
enjoy..enjoy..enjoy..
nowadays alot of things had changed..
changed by itself..
till i oso haiiiiihhhhzzzz..
very blank...super blank...
i oso dunno wat to do and dunno wat to think..
there are too many parties out there
lol..

A wonderful Day

today was a wonderful day..
i almost overslept for my morning class..
but still manage to attend the class..but 5-10minutes late..
still manageable..
as usual, i snooze my alarm clock..
i din even notice dat my alarm is ringing..
but my hand still capable of snoozing it..u see ?
how good is my hand..as if my hand already being programmed to do it so..
not jz today..but everyday..lol
so, alarm clock is consider useless for me..
mayb should buy a more advance alarm clock..
and ofcoz..dun hav "snooze" button..
if not, it will also end up the same thing..
ahaha..
ok..today i had very nice day..
i can smile and laugh..
i enjoy my day very much
hehehe..

~Joie De Vivre~

Things cannot be undone..

what done is done..and whateva happened in the past is history..
history can be either sweet or bitter..or it may be bittersweet..memory..
six months had passed so fast..wat i heard and see is totally different..
and what can be seen must not be seen..cannot be felt..
things might go the other way round…ops..not might..is had..
what i had expected has turn into tragedy..and
what i going to see in the near future is horrible
what i can see doesn’t mean u can see it too..and
what u can see doesn’t mean i can see it..

listen..listen and listen..
the noise is getting nearer and nearer..
i dunno what must i really do
jz close my eyes ? or jz cover my ears with my hands ?
but no matter how hard i cover it..the noise will still penetrate through my hands..
it is as power as an atomic bomb
its really heartbreaking whenever i hear the noise
can i really escape from this ?
its either face it or leave it..

its uncontrollable..and i can even feel the adrenaline running in my veins..
finding a person to talk with is indeed very hard
i dunno and i dunno and i dunno..and
i still can hear the clock is continue ticking…
tik..tok..tik..tok..tik..tok..tik..tok..tik..tok..

April fool...

was sleeping last nite..
until someone phone me..
that time was around 3.30am-3.40am..if not mistaken..
phone me jz to giv me an April Fool surprise..
ahaha..
dat time i was like still blur blur..
u knw la..sleep till so nice..den suddenly got 1 phone call come..
den, dat time ofcoz i didn't expect any surprise or think of April Fool..
coz my mind jz think of sleep..sleep..and sleep..
ahaha..somemore, bcoz of this surprise..
i kenot wake up for my morning class..
ahaha..ponteng all morning class..
but somehow..April fool end d..hav to wait till next year..
i might gonna use this same tactic to fool my friends on next coming year..
ahaha...but i think only some of them can take it while others might curse me "kaw kaw"..
ahaha..might as well hit me when i see them..ahaha..
besides April Fool..ntg much for today..
as usual, went for classes..eat..talk crap..and jalan jalan around campus + sit @ campus..
lol..diz was my very first time to lepak at campus and sit(on the chair) at the walk way there and talk crap..
it was actually very nice..the air is cooling and refreshing..plus the surrounding is like so relaxing..
but not really relaxing..got some noise pollution..thanx to those car's alarm + horn
if i can bring along my laptop + chinese tea there..that would be awesome..
imagine!!
enjoy the nite breeze and having a cup of hot chinese tea..wow..is like so relaxing..
ahaha..but ofcoz i wont..ppl will tot i study till gila d..
but anyway, loafing around the campus at nite is still the best way to get out urself from stress..
woohooo...

d’Day

In just few hours time, i gonna torture myself in an event which i haven’t take part before

It’s time to challenge myself. Outdo my self..
Let’s make it more interesting..if not, there is no objective for me to keep running and running..unless there is something to challenge myself..

Ok..lets make it like diz..
If i manage to complete it within the qualifying time (3 hours) , i will take up another challenge..which is Penang Bridge  International Marathon..but..but..but..
If let say i K.O during the run and cannot complete the run..oh well..
I will not join any Marathon Event again..nvr ever again
Unless got any special occasions..ahaha..

Erm..actually i plan to sleep early during this whole week..but, manatahu..kehidupan seorang student..mana boleh tidur awal..
already used to it to sleep late at nite and wake up late in the afternoon..lol..not morning..but afternoon..
”morning” seems like already extinct from my life since i enter Uni..
unless there is morning classes..waking up in the morning i really a big matter to me..

for diz sem alone, i think dunno how many times i had overslept..
its uncountable..ahaha..dats y i super duper hate to have a very very early classes..especially those 8am class..
even though i can wake up at 8am and manage to attend the class..
but instead of paying attention to the lecture, i m surely gonna “fishing” inside the class..
so, go = no go..no different..=.=..ahaha

so so sleepy and yet so boring here..but still stuck @ PJ
haihz…

 

1 more day to go

woohoo..1 more day to go
but no more training..
hav to let the muscle to rest
if not, later on the race day cramp pulak..
ahaha..jz collected my runing vest and my bib no. today
but kinda disappointed with the quality
and oso da size..
i took XXXL..buthen still quite tight for me..ahaha

today i laugh to much d..nw stomach pain pulak..lol
can say da most craziest day ever..laughing non-stop
but still..laughing is the best medicine
no matter u stress or wat..it will cure everything
today is the day dat i really really wish to hav on my daily life
coz i m free from stress-ness, and out from "some" world which i'm being stalked at and control-ed at..
dunno..but i jz knw dat i really enjoy the day today..
today i felt dat i m totally different since i started to laugh
i can feel the happiness , freedom and live the way i want to
b4 dat, i feel like myself being stucked inside a cage..
lifeless..

i dun nid anything fancy to brighten my life
and i dun like a complicated life..
jz a simple life will do..
like example..i like to travel around KL and explore new places wherever and whenever i want
bcoz..travel makes me happy..
and ofcoz finding nice food makes me happier..
food is like heaven for me
ahaha

3 more days

so far so good..
i hope so..no physical damage and most important is..
no mental damage..
today indeed a good day for me
my roomate , my hsemate and me myself..
3 of us won some prizes for ourself
through the mini game on the marathon organizer facebook
but the prizes still remain unknown
it might be keychain torchlight, shaver or usb battery charger..
i was so shocked when i saw our name inside the facebook
we didnt expect to win anything from the game as we not really put our effort in
if 1 of us won, den it will be normal la..
but so coincident dat 3 of us won
expect the unexpected
okla..now at least got more spirit and motivation d
this few days train like mad
took the road not taken b4
jz run and run and run
without any 2nd thought..
but most importantly..my mp3 have to be alive
without music, my run goin to be a dull one
and boring..
at least the beat "thump..thump..thump.."
from the music can teman me for 3 hours
during dat time, i got no one to talk to..except my body and music
whenever my body ask me stop and walk..
i hav obey the instruction
but hope that it wont happen in a wrong place and wrong time
actually i m quite worry about the run
but no matter wat, i hav to face it
everything hav it first time
you'll never know
~Joie de Vivre~

i smell something...

something which is not right..

from my eyes and from what i feel..

that sumthing is going to happen..

real soon..jz the matter of time..

and it is best for me to stay away from the field

i dun wan to be the one who step on the land mine and..

oso dun wan to be the one who trigger the bomb..

cold war is likely to be happened

as from what i experienced

diz time i will jz sit on the fence

as i couldn't help much and i don't want to make it worse

what i can do for them is jz hope that there is nothing going to happen as the time goes by..

i jz wan a peaceful environment..

i dun want to be like last time..

where every morning whenever i jz wake up from my bed..

i already started to worry on how m i goin to face my day later..

and i keep asking myself..how ? how ? how ?

and goin to college is like goin to a war field

my daily life is like jz waiting to be shoot-ed or stay calm and ignore the surrounding and pretend as if there is nothing happen

there is only 2 possibilites..

imagine that!! i have to adapt to the "environment" for nearly 14 weeks

i m phobia of my college...

during that moment, my life is really empty and jz feel like giving up on my studies..

which i did so..and it took me a period of time to recover..

so, i dun wish diz incident to repeat itself again..

sometimes, i feel dat it is best for us to voice up if there is any problem

in order to avoid any misunderstanding..rather than jz buried it inside our heart

after sometimes, it will eventually explode

and will lead to war..

it is better to solve it earlier than later

~Joie De Vivre~